We all know that self-esteem is an integral part of who we are and it influences how we evolve. LYour idea of yourself follows you everywhere, every day. Your confidence is tested on a daily basis and it is essential to take a step back sometimes to to strenghten. Self-esteem is not only present when we are at work, at school or in the presence of friends. In fact, it is strongly at stake when another person is involved and you share an intimate relationship with that person. It also has a significant impact on one's relationship with oneself.
Step 1
First, you have to learn to inhabit your body! One method to connect to it and get out of your head is mindfulness. Practicing meditation for 5 minutes a day teaches us to listen to our body and to detach ourselves from thoughts and daily stress. There are several podcasts offering short daily guided meditations; you can also simply focus on your breathing. There is also the option of body scanning allowing us to become aware of the different parts and sensations of our body.
2nd step
Afterwards, we want to learn to know ourselves better! Good self-knowledge allows over time a better acceptance of ourselves and also allows us to better understand which facets we would like to work on more. On a sexual level, a good exercise is the exploration of brakes and accelerators. Make a list with two columns: brakes (the aspects that harm desire and sexual arousal – stress, mental load, disorder, media, etc.) and accelerators (the aspects that increase desire and sexual arousal – candles, relaxation, laughing together, etc.). Desire and arousal result not only from the presence of accelerators, but also from the absence of brakes, hence the importance of understanding both sides and finding your “sweet spot”! LWriting is also a very good way to learn to understand yourself better beyond sexuality!
Floravi also advises you to read about eroticism and sexual well-being to learn more about the different facets of sexuality. Whether it's books or blog posts, you will be surprised by what you learn. What is not surprising, however, is the correlation between sex education and sexual esteem. In fact, the more you know about the subject, the more comfortable you will be during intimate relationships. Which translates into better self-esteem, not to be confused with sexual performance!
Step 3
A third important step to boosting your confidence is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This means sleeping well: listening to your fatigue signals, maintaining a fairly regular cycle, limiting screens before going to sleep; eating well: eating enough, prioritizing nutritious foods, limiting the consumption of coffee, alcohol and refined sugars; and exercising: moving every day even if it's just a few sun salutations, a walk around the corner, a bit of stationary cycling or home exercises. In addition to having a positive effect on our general well-being, maintaining a healthy lifestyle sends a subconscious signal to our body and mind that it is important and deserves to be taken care of.
We wrote a blog post suggesting several low-intensity physical activities. The exercises vary: Kegel balls, walking, swimming, gym, and yoga. Are you interested? Just click here to consult it! Sport will allow you to produce endorphin, a hormone offering a feeling of well-being and relaxation.
Step 4
Explore non-erotic touch! This can be done with an intimate partner (holding hands, cuddling, giving a massage) as well as with a professionnel.le (massage therapist). Letting another person touch our body without sexual expectations allows us to learn to let go and appreciate bodily sensations without pressure. This also allows us to improve our relationship with our corporality by accepting imperfections and welcoming pleasure. The benefits of this step are felt as much on a physical level as on a psychological level!
For the first few times, avoid bringing the massage to a sexual relationship. This moment of relaxation is something you do to reconnect with your body and your identity.
Step 5
Now that you've explored and gotten to know each other better, it's time to verbalize those realizations. Because your partner isn't in your head, it's impossible for them to know what makes you happy.
Floravi offers you some advice in her blog article to start a delicate discussion on the subject with your partner, you just need to click here to consult it. Communication is done by speaking in the “I”, by being positive and constructive and in vulnerability. Compliments can be a good tool to help navigate these discussions. This process can become a team effort!
On this, we suggest you go at your own pace. Start quietly, step by step, to take care of your physical, mental and sexual health. This is an ongoing work, because your self-esteem deserves all your love, try to see the thing with positivity and have fun by starting this personal work!
If you feel that your self-esteem is low and you want to remedy this, Floravi strongly advises you to consult a professionnel.le mental health professional who could help you on this journey, for example a psychologist or a sexologist.